Blended Family Talk

You’ve met your soul mate and are so grateful to get this second chance at love.  Your siginificant other has a child or children of their own, and you love them like your own.  The next logical step would be to consider adopting your step kids, especially if the biological parents are no longer in the picture.Â

Adoption is never easy, but a whole new set of rules apply to adopting stepkids. Generally, a step parent may adopt their step children only in the situation where the other biological parent has given up the rights to the child or has passed away. For example, if a woman has two children and she remarries then the new husband and step dad will only be able to adopt the step children if the biological father gives up his parental rights or is no longer alive. Also, there are some situations where a step parent may adopt a step child even without the consent of the biological parent if that parent has not had contact with the child for some period of time as well as other reasons. As a matter of fact, adoption of step children is strictly prohibited in Australia.Â

The very first thing you will need to do is talk about the adoption with your spouse and the child. However, I would suggest having a long, heart felt talk with yourself to see if your really up to the challenge.  Remember when actress, Halle Berry was married to R and B singer, Eric Benet?  Benet was a widower with a then 11 year old daughter.  Before the couple wed, Halle often spoke of adopting Benet’s daughter since the little gir’s mother was deceased, but this is something that never happened during the 2 year marriage.  After the couple divorce, Eric bitterly complained that Halle had cut off all ties with his daughter and that she didn’t deserve to be treated like this.  Unfortunately, Benet was right and his daughter was left to deal with the pain on her own.  Find out how the entire family feels about the adoption and if the child really likes the idea as well. Remember that this will impact the childs life so make his opinion on the subject the most important.   Make sure you always are always putting the child’s best intentions first.

Your next step would be to speak with an adoption lawyer in your state who is aware of the protocol for step parents adopting step children. Gather all the necessary information and prepare for some challenges along the way especially if the biological parent does not give consent despite not taking part in the childs life. A step parent wanting to adopt a step child is a very special thing indeed. Although it can take a lot of effort, time, and money, if it is something that means a lot to you and the step child then keep working at it. Eventually the adoption will take place and the new family can live happily ever after.