5 Myths About Step Parenting
1. Children of divorce and remarriage are damaged forever.
All children go though a painful period after a divorce or seperation. However, children are much more resiliant than we are and are capable of bouncing back. Research has shown that children of divorce are no different than children from the same marriage household.
2. Love should instantly occur between step parents and stepchildren
Although you are madly in love with your new partner, this may not automatically apply to stepchildren. Likewise, the children may not love you even though you are a nice person. Even when you recognize the time involved, it is hurtful to want a relationship with someone who doesn’t want a relationship with you. When people hurt, they may become resentful and angry. Blended family relationships may evolve easier if you approach it with minimal and realistic expectations.
3. Step parents are usually wicked.
Fairy tales have taught children that step parents, particularily step mothers, are wicked. Although you may be a good person in other aspects of your life, it is not abnormal to feel like you are failing as a step parent. Just know that this is not a refelction on your character when you are doing the right things.
4. Adjusting to a blended family comes quickly.
New couples are optimistic about their newfound love and want their family members to share in their joy. However, it can take longer for stepchildren to form loving bonds, and positive relationships.
5. Part-time blended families are easier.
When step children are on a scheduled visitation, such as every other weekend, there is not enough one on one time for the stepparent, stepchild bonding. Part time step families can take longer moving through the process of adjustment.
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